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Christmas Blessings!




May you all be blessed and warm!

My special love goes to Pia, the new mum of Charlotte- Sophie, a beautiful baby gril, born on the 5th of December!

My christmas will be very quiet and after six weeks of seven day working I am looking very much forward to the peace and silence of the next days. There are a few more hours on the christmas-market under the dome of cologne to come in about an hour, possibly a long night of workign and then...silence, lots of painting, peace, pampering, maybe some dancing and a few visitors... yay!

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rough nights ...

Die Rauhnächte (auch Raunacht oder Rauchnacht) oder die zwölf Nächte (auch Zwölfte oder Glöckelnächte) sind einige Nächte um den Jahreswechsel, denen im europäischen Brauchtum oft special importance is attached. Usually it is the twelve nights between Christmas Eve (December 24) and the Feast of the Epiphany (January 6), but other periods such as between the St. Thomas Day and New Year come into question.

There are differences in the number of rough nights, all between three and twelve nights, depending on the region:
considered the most important raw nights are referred to:

* 21-22. December (Thomas Night / Winter Solstice) (longest night of the year) *
24-25. December (Christmas Eve)
* 31 December / 1 January (New Year's Eve)
* 5 / 6 January (Epiphaniasnacht, Release of the Lord)

In some areas not count the Thomas Night.

word origin

A derivation of the word rough night from the traditional smoking out of the stables by the pastor or the peasants - often with the help of incense - is possible. John Boemus (1520) and Sebastian Franck (1534) report on the smoking out: "The consecration zwolff nights between eight and three Heyligen Künig Date is not a brothel, the nit all day weiroch do smoke in yr Hostel / for all teüfel VND witchcraft is spooky." (Sebastian Franck, Weltbuech: VND bildtniß mirror of the earth ... Gantzer Tübingen 1534, quoted in Hans Dünninger, Horst Schopf. Customs and festivals in the Franconian seasons. Kulmbach, 1971, p. 24).

calendrical basis

The origins of the custom probably in the era after a lunar year. A year of twelve lunar months, but includes only 354 days. Like all simple, non-intercalating lunisolar (that all lunar calendar, push the no leap months in order to stay with the solar year in a match), the missing on the 365 days of the solar years, eleven days - or twelve nights - as dead days (ie days outside the time inserted). From those days is adopted widely in the world mythologies, that the normal laws of nature are suspended, and fall with the natural limits to some other worlds. In many cultures that use such a calendar system, in this time of myth and magic rituals are common, and those going back to Germanic or vorgermanische roots traditions have been preserved in tradition to the present - which the customs is how old, can not in general say exactly.

mythology and folklore

The rough nights are a time to be fit for the invocation or exorcism, the contact with animals or divination practices.

Halfway through the twelve nights, namely New Year's Eve, Wotan should be with the dead to the wild Hunting break. This time is open to the old folk belief, the spirit realm, and the souls of the dead and the spirits have output. Demons can hold parades or go with the wild chase through the country. Until very recently in many parts of Europe the belief was widespread that the spellcaster people who made a pact had been signed with the devil, turned this time into werewolves, and in this form humans and livestock at risk (such as the Baltic States, West Germany, especially in the Eifel and Ardennes, the adjacent, or in Bulgaria and Greece). This idea is reflected in the Perchten the Alps. Even the custom of New Year's noise is to produce the Monsters away. In northern Germany, is still spreading the Rummelpott running. The customs of the Winterauskehr at the end of Carnival are in this context: The spirits who have yet taken root, can then be sold once and for all.

old folk beliefs are the result of rough nights for further performing oracles very suitable. In the New Year's Eve tradition is the belief - maintained in the form of fortune telling to this day - although primarily of sociability. The Onion calendar is the weather forecast.

animals in the barn at midnight to speak human language and talk about the future. Those who speak the animals, however, hear die immediately thereafter.

These four nights were rough in some places as so dangerous that they were committed with fasting and prayer. In the house could no disorder prevail, do not hang white wash on the line (which would steal the tab to them during the year to use as a shroud for the owner). There could be no clothes lines stretched, as in this the "Wild Hunt" could get caught. In another version, this is especially forbidden (younger) women. By hanging white (sub) would wash the "Wild Hunt lured and then" pounce "on these women. Women and children should not be alone on the streets after dark. On the other hand, were the rough nights for unmarried women as an opportunity to at midnight to see at a crossroads or other magical place her future groom. His figure appeared and then passed in silence, and the girl she could neither speak nor her look, because this would have meant death (Brittany, Wales, Scotland).

children who were born on a Saturday during the two weeks had, in the opinion of most European nations magical powers. Who was born the day, could see ghosts and fight recurrent deaths and, but had to also carry the deceased to the cemetery and show them their future grave. In Western Europe stood under a Christian influence a change after the peak holiday had been the week from the Jewish Sabbath postponed to Sunday. Therefore, they spoke of Sunday children who were geistersichtig could look into the future and happiness brought. In orthodox room, you hear today from Saturday child (Serbian: Subotnik or Greek sabbatianos). You are in the legends of South Eastern Europe, the vampire hunter, while the existence as a returning Undead condemned person most in one night between 21 December and the 6th were born in January (according to the Orthodox calendar). Especially feared was the birth of a child on Christmas Eve, because this is considered a mockery of the birth of Christ.

Christian overlay of traditions

first Charles the Great made in central Europe by 800 Church for the Christmas feast, who celebrated the ancient rituals were punished with death.

At least at the four most important rough nights (December 21, December 24, December 31 and January 5) are folk customs house and barn from the house father with juniper, later blessed with holy water and incense, candles lit and prayers said. This is to Christian tradition, and the use of candles or incense smoke was as an explanation for the description Rau (c) hnächte used what was offered in view of the phonetic similarity.

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it gets cold

It is cold outside and dark earlier and earlier. When I speak of the work in the kindergarten go home, I leave the train through the dark streets of Cologne, home and pull my scarf tight over his face ... it is cold ... and I enjoy the atmosphere of weihnachtsliche decorated windows, glowing candles and Christmas markets. On the market at the cathedral I am working now until Christmas and so my workload is anything but Christmas, seven days a week, without a break until Christmas. In kindergarten, it is also udn Christmas Santa Claus, I learn and remember a variety of Christmas songs, bake Kekes, everything will be decorated and will tinker candles, stars, Christmas trees. The atmosphere touched me and fulfills something in me, it does me good to feel again the dark times. For the first time I take the cold is not it as something threatening, smarting, I am actually almost true, even when long hours go to the Christmas market is already in the bones (but do I have now an excellent 2ltr Thermos Pump Deluxe Kanne purchased, which brings me even by 10 hours without a break. It's only for a few weeks ... We sell fine vinegars and oils, bruschetta, liqueurs, mustards of all kinds .. a wonderful team of friends with very respectful and compassionate care, a beautiful Atmosphere with visitors from all over the world to be carted to the magnificent cathedral and toilets at Starbucks around the corner.
But I've taken from me one day for me to have the Osho UTA a Path of Love Mediation Day to come to me to ask me to clean up and has done very very well!
And since yesterday I am the first time in many many weeks healthy (ok, I cough a little, but that almost does not count). I was always more or less severely ill, probably mainly due to the intensive contact with the children, all sniffles and cough and snort and spit in his food and face me ... because the best immune system helps nothing, or that is my now step by step strong you but just once through all through. And so I dope myself with Echinacea and Iceland moss, horsetail and licorice, ginger and spirulina, algae, and bread drink, zinc and many fresh herbs ... It is now well on the last!
thanks to the children I know nearby intensive human, very challenging, very soothing. I constantly learn new, I have to ask me how I should deal with the situations as I would like to deal with it and see how I react to it can reflect on. A very intensive learning process.
My old lady (92) I am responsible for the continued service and hospice visits is indicative of a deep love has become. Every week I'm going to her and help her shopping and cleaning, you massage the head, talk with her and help her with all sorts of things. It is absolutely incredible and admirable. It is of profound elegance and nobility, and has an attitude and dignity that I have encountered before in my life. I learn so much from her, she touched my heart. And yet they stubbornly refuses to die and continue to reside at home, although she slowly worse.
A beautiful story .... I would say in the last week I was with her and we were talking on ... she is 92 and single, and she loves to be alone. Since we have considered whether they should not look for an 80-year-old, and she said in all seriousness ... "No, for that I am too young. If I'm 100 maybe, but not yet, I'm much too happy alone, "My message
it. Those who think therefore that he was, their age at all for anything too old ... let him take this woman to heart! You are definitely not too old! So you can start when you're 100!
I look forward each week, very them. It is a further component of the rich human encounters that I experience here. I'll probably Christmas with her, and then go to my mother's birthday in mid-January to Oldenburg. To my father's side (and my brother) I have virtually no contact, which is a pity (and also quite painful), but now it has well everyone has a different understanding of family.
Here in Cologne caused more and more beautiful new connections and friendships, I am very grateful to the UTA Meditation Center and got the corner and go, especially on weekends and often likes to point to sit for satsang and make friends. A spiritual center of excellent quality! And wonderful people! There, I've
in October Seminar on Men and Women on the Path of Love, what has moved me deeply, as well as the continuing trauma therapy for body therapists, teachers and therapists ... there are top class, it is wonderful.
I've made in late November with self-massage and nutrition counseling, and Translations and it wants to build next year. The Hot Stone massage I ordered ... the bank is .... A jumble of rules and structures that exist to work out there, but to me it is fun. Deutschlandgitb me Ooompf and soil and clear structures. I love Abglage!
Kiga I'm In (The colorful balloon in Overath, educcare Education Day Care Center) started working on a nutrition study because the food there is not the same as what I would consider for nourishing and beneficial to children ... So gather data, conduct a small study, materials put together ... sigh ... I love the scientific studies!)
In the last month I have then in office for A colleague worked more, but am now back to 20 hours ... I'm spending the rest just at the Christmas market and looking forward now to a few days off between Christmas and New Year (in which I would like to finish the study).
I miss nature, I miss traveling, I miss the sea and the warmth, the breadth ... and I'm grateful for everything I learn here, it is very rich. Next year I will probably have kaaum vacation, it will all go to training ... immerhinm I have for the first time in my life paid holidays! (And even sick days even if I do not really want to use!)
I'm incredibly excited when a child comes Pias, on Saturday, and in consequence the last possible Birth date .... I'm so excited !!!!!
Yesterday I got my toenails painted sparkling and for the rest of the evening, marvel at my feet ;-) ah yes ... and if I have time, would I start grad to Basilea it, sometimes to watch a movie, more to paint (acrylic) and postcards to tinker ... then it is here ... so so ...
It is late, time to sleep!

Laura Gemserfilm Online

compassion

A One-Week Mission To Bring Cheer

- posted by Bright Eyes on Oct 30, 2009



There's a woman I work with who is very shy. She does not usually share much about herself so I do not know her very well. At the beginning of the week, a group of my co-workers and I were gathered around the water fountain. This woman was there too. usually she is fairly quiet, but today she was unloading all her woes.....I listened (without interrupting) while she shared her many concerns and life challenges with the group. Some of the group rolled their eyes or tried to change the subject I suspected because they did not want their precious break time spent on someone else's problems. I could tell she was really stressed and disheartened. Even, her appearance spoke volumes - her posture was poor with slumped shoulders, she has deep furrow lines on her forehead, her eyes had no sparkle and she had dark circles. She seemed to be surrounded by a dark cloud.

She needed to resolve her issues personally, but I decided I could bring her sunshine by becoming her personnal CHEER-LEADER every day this week!

I began my cheer mission that Monday itself. I went out at lunch to buy a card. I found a fantastic card covered in huge sunflowers with a bright yellow envelope. It was blank inside so I wrote some encouraging words and included a fantastic inspirational story and quote that I clipped from a magazine. I taped it to her computer before others were due back from lunch so she would see it as soon as she got back to her desk.

Tuesday, I wrapped a sunflower pin in brightly colored tissue and enclosed a smiley stick-um. I attached a note which instructed her to wear the pin when she needed a lift, some sunshine in her life. I explained in the note that sunflowers are a symbol for cheerfulness and hope. I also added a second note which said that someone was praying for her - sending her rainbows and wishing her well.

Today - I got in early and left some homemade baked goodies for her to munch with her coffee. I also left her a bunch of jokes and laugh notes to cheer her up.

Thursday, tomorrow, I will go in early again before she arrives, and I will leave a small potted flowering plant to enhance her work cubicle space. The flowers are yellow.

As for Friday, I am still thinking about it ...I need something to end the week with a BAM! so it has to be the best one.

I didn't sign my name on any of the gifts nor have I asked her about them BUT I can see that she is smiling more and now has more of a spring to her step so it looks like my little surprises are bringing some much needed sunshine to her cloudy days.

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Three steps

A Season to Renew

--posted by sethi on Oct 8, 2009

As the new season of autumn approaches, let us consider not only the outward changes of renewal in nature as we see the color of leaves change, but also look to the renewals in our relationships and honoring the needed changes that need to take place within them.

Listen now, to the words of a revered sage, as he imparts wisdom on refreshing our relationships.

Our thoughts,words, and actions often cause harm to others and to us. Renewing our relationships on a regular basis is an important practice. Without reconciliation, we cannot deepen our understanding and we only cause more suffering .

Every week we have the time to go to the cinema, to go shop, but we rarely find the time to renew the relationships with the people who are close to us. " Begining Anew " is a practice of reconciliation. It involves three steps - sharing, appreciation, expressing regret , and expressing hurt and difficulties .

In the first step, we share appreciation. We acknowlege the positive attributes of the other person. The second step of expressing regret is the oppourtunity to share with the other person, our regrets for the things we have done or said that might have caused him or her pain.

This requires humility and the willingness to let go of our own pain and pride . In the third step of, we express our own hurt with mindful loving speech, without blaming or criticizing. We speak in such a way that the other person can listen and receive our words . If we blame and condemn the other person, his heart will close and he will not be able to hear us. We ask the other person to help us to understand why he has spoken and acted as he has, causing us so much pain. Perhaps, later, he can share his feelings so that we can understand him more deeply. If a strong emotion arises in us while we are expressing our suffering, we should simply stop and come back to our breathing until the emotion subsides. The other person can support us by following his breathing until we are ready to continue . We can enjoy practicing " Begining Anew " with our partner, our family, or our colleagues regularly. By doing this, we will prevent misunderstandings from accumulating. Rather, we will take care of them as they arise, like we take care of our children.





By : Thich Nahat Hanh

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Gonna Make It ...

....one day. Its getting a bit easier, settling in and calming down a little, going deep and sometimes just feeling so lonely that I spent hours in front of the computer. Missing nature, missing love and human contact. But, I start opening up more than ever before, discovering new aspects of myself, of being, getting clearer, starting to know the woman inside. Growing within my dignity and pride, sometimes easier, sometimes harder to keep. I have been sick with intense colds (no flu, thank god) several times, feels like adjusting to the german energy, the cold, the aloneness, all the kids around me coughing, sneezing, integration of all this.
I feel, I am learning so much, growing so much and getting somewhat closer to myself.
I have come to deeply love the work in the kindergarten, cooking lots with the kids, just enjoying the beautiful connections, the intense alivenes, so good! And its definetly not enough, moneywise...trying to live on 700 euros a month and that doesnt even pay the bills, so desperately searching for a second job and hope to make it soon, it is getting exhausting to keep thinking about money and not being able to buy anything (like warm clothes...) But I am feeling rich and warm inside, so the outside will change soon, I trust.
I am deeply into music, listening to the most different kinds of songs and loving the commuting times in the mornings and evenings on my way to work, just loosing myself in music...ahh yummm ;-)
It feels, I will be here until next september and that´s hard to accept, I miss the oceans, the nature, so much and the city is burning, is so intense and grey... and its easy to accept, I trzst, I am just right here, getting into so much contact, learnign so many new things, its so ALIVE!
I just did another Path of love retreat (men and women on the path of love) and it has been seriously amazing, life-changing again (as the first one) I would say. So deep, so intense, so delicate, to know myself deeper every step I take, being so real, so maskless, so raw, how beautiful and free! I am deeply gratefull for having the possibility to experience this, giving myself this present. There is so much freedom possible, so much love and depth and I am getting closer ;-) step by step. Building friendships with beautiful people in and around cologne, dancing and getting softer with myself, harder with the outside, things are falling into their natural places.
I keep visiting my old lady for the hospice who was supposed to be dying soon, but insists on being alive and kicking! She is absolutely graceful and amazing!
It will soon be my mothers silver anniversary, so its time to go up to Oldenburg for a night, bringing back some more treasures into my new home... (get my juicer, YAY!) What I absolutely love is, that you can get good organic food even at the retailers and discounters and there are cheap organic supermarkets around every corner, what a blessing! and the richness of europes food, such a beautifull variety of delicacies, I missed that in NZ and OZ ;-) where a couple of retailers dictate what u eat and buy... my best friend Pia is pregnant and I will be aunty in december ;-)))))))) YAY!

And I am painting, painting, painting, spending nights over the canvas, loosing myself in the colours (you guess it, oceans and skies and lots of blue ;-) such a great therapy, seeking an amazing tool to process and fall deep into myself.
And yet, I sometimes wished I was in Byron, doing the season there, to be swimming on Hawaii tramping in NZ ... next year, got to make some money first and learn a little more, soaking up my energy motherlands. ..

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up and online!

Finally .... online at home, skyping and a landline!

o221 16,865,090

YAY!

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late summer

new beginning at the end of the summer.
Maybe, sure, I'm still more than on spring set to fall, a little tick to southern hemisphere time. So many new starts, pushing its tender buds, gentle and determined as the spring's Way place. In fact, it is always easier
, happy to be with the children, I am looking forward to the days in Overath, growth, and learning a lot and am very touched.
feeds to have arrived at a place me immensely. So much new power and satisfaction. Peace and smile. Not only determined and so much more, so much healthier and calmer.
I have deleted a cleaned up, cleared dream, and watch the moon rise from my window. On allotments, but still, I've learned to appreciate every little bit green. I'm so excited to paint it again! At the weekend is to grind on doors and to remove ... a previous inhabitants had decided that the apartment door shape with a thick black paint to Niederhölleneingangstor and I I do not need more grad ... they should now be blue, so because the paint is to get. The tiny toilet is still dark gold metallic, in the bathroom, the dark blue and gold wallpaper and now know what I'm looking forward to my pictures!
Internet, we have none, not even a phone.
My roommate Anna is a wonderful young woman and the kitchen has disappeared in the leaves their green charm ;-) Cologne is definitely not a permanent shelter, but a good station. The most serious steps behind me, if I ever needed a free sofa miraculously found himself involved a step by step and I am able to can let go and slow to arrive. 'm Still on, definitely. View and learn a lot. Intensive and lively and always surprising. Much differently than before and much work where I want. I did feel a little freedom in recent years have taken to assume that much easier easier without thinking about it ...
the questions of the battle differ, sometimes even of gratitude.

Pia, my heartfelt congratulations, be blessed in the coming months!
My subject now? Would ... Dignity ... find my dignity, sincerity And. ..

Surrender Is Not an Option!

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mutate to fast-food junkie!

Now times take note: my new favorite foods are pizza, called Cheeseburger, Frankfurter and Co. Mama me now you little Mampf monster :-)

health conscious will now be horrified, of course, but I have my parents so that the greatest joy made that one can only imagine!

And it's not as if I am only feeding exclusively by such things, I eat (and chew!) also plenty of fruit and vegetables, just almost everything you offer me so.

Most of all, the mom says, but now that I have my sandwich in kindergarten every day, all alone eat it up.

For Dad and Mom once again proof that everything in life I do it if I am only prepared to do himself. And I had always known my own schedule :-)

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touches

touched I am. Very

Moved
Touched
Excited to move tomorrow.
To paint a room in the colours of my dreams
To call a place home for a while.
To calm down a little, to find rest.
to rest
I need and want to sit more
Be quiet
and celebrate more
be more courageous and keep my heart open,
no matter how much fear.
Dying to dance again.
Yearning to touch the ocean again.
To sit on the shore and watch the waves again.
I keep dreaming of roaring ocean waves, giants, coming to the shore.

Staying true to myself. More and more and more.

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levels

STUFEN

(von Hermann Hesse)

Wie jede Blüte welkt
und jede Jugend the age is different, so life at every stage
,
blooms each and every virtue and wisdom
their time and may not last forever.
It must be the heart of every life calls
be ready to leave and new beginnings,
to give himself bravely and without remorse
new light that bonds.
And every beginning there is a magic
who protects us and helps us to live.
We should clear space to pass through space,
attached to any as a home,
the world-spirit does not want to fetter us,
he will raise us higher, step by step!
soon as we are at home in one circle and
Familiar habit
threatened to limp!
Only those who are willing to journey,
like crippling habit entraffen itself.
It perhaps also the hour of death
will send us fresh and newer spaces:
of life call to us will never end.
Well, my heart, take leave and

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grow

I was there last week for the first time caught well. So moved, exhausted, burned out, that my body has decided to treat yourself to a training and grooming time and I was carried to bed as soon as I had moved. Strenuous deep cleaning on all levels. So good!
now almost complete, just the sniffles from time to time and not quite clear in my head and I have now started work - (5 3) in Overath with the kids. A real challenge. I know simply do not play the games I can, I weave songs in English (and what! Evening I sit at the computer and watch me banana joe monkey songs and try to learn ;-)
How would I do with the Kids around, causing my behavior, how do I deal with respect and can not even remember my kiga time ... hmm ...
Besides just move also two times (on my bike) announced (my heart thanks to Steffi and Tarika), which is now at 29 finally be over and I will help them find a home. What a relief. Ok, I know, devotion, river, ... and yet, I am grateful to a nice have found along with roommate living room (with accommodation!) and garden in a quiet street on. Something nice to do and to take out creative, look at the allotment and wild green right on the terrace to the kitchen remodeled. A little further to get me, come to rest and once again felt myself more clearly.
Halfway back, find a haven, even in outdoor.
Everything else will occur. I'm just happy and I feel the most strenuous is solved only once, even if still very much remains to be done. I am grateful for calmer waters and would like to sort itself once again and I must admit to also just a few things. I want to do better, find my dignity and self-respect. Work in progress.

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continue searching

Starting tomorrow I am homeless
;-) Well, not exactly, I sleep for a few days with a dear friend, then at another. where I let my clothes and food (as many are nothing), I'm still not entirely clear.
I'm a real professional in flats and shared flats and visit the `hello I am sooo tired of it and I Mirja'Spiel. is not the idea, lingering to contract as so strange being with other strange beings. one-room flats are so good to get that way and I would have to apply for housing benefit sometimes, but I need ne work and billing I've just not yet.
purpose of travel expenses should I get a passport Cologne, but also requires very ne residence and payroll records. Exactly!!
On Saturday there from my new workplace, the Summer Academy, which I am really looking forward too, only in degree but it is sometimes very much.
goes on Monday it will go right with dme kindergarten and I should have vaccination records (ups?), Clearance (where can i get that? "I do not even have ne address !!!), first aid certificate (aehmm jaaa ... Colleges ?) and a 'hello I'm mirja' visual design with a nice picture (yes, I just NEN own computer but no printer !!!)... sauuuuuviel what it is since this comes together.
How I'm going with this? I ask myself again and again. I always see again, not thinking but read on what to do and concentrating on my source, I-centering, use music and movement and just jumped in the rain in the Rhine. and then go one step further and further.
The TCM doctor with whom I had an appointment today endlcih, now was not the best experience and so on ... is looking ... home doctor (but I leiber to have one with asthma ...), dentist, gynecologist and psychologist ...

Hei ho ..... YAY! Ok, head high and more, I've yet to visit ne WG .... am the Mirja ;-) (yesterday were all the four and one may believe nciht how people live here and even exorbitant prices pay for it !!!!)

It'll eventually be quiet ...

I'm les extent I then get away from Hape Kerkeling and I am very tuned, especially at its depth. He was here in Cologne to see election posters everywhere .. wonderful! Now comes a movie in the theaters and I'd choose the (Horst Schlämmer or so his pseudonym), but he is Düsseldorf, and inheritance rights are hated here ... Germany has lost his heart at some point it seems to me, I've lost my heart?

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Mirja

I just looked up my name and the Bedeutugn them apart that it is hard to find, I did not know before, that so beautiful is:

the bringer of peace or

star over the sea (Finnish, like that one, thats me !!!!)

also derived from Mary, or 'the wild, uncontrollable'

power but hope ;-) and I sit here on the Rhine??

told me A friend from Romania in Byron that in an ancient Carpathian dialect means Mirja honey, well aware ego that!

ahhh ... my name ... In the last three years in the English-speaking country not a person (not an honest !!!!!) understood my name right away and I had to explain again and again (long and wide ....) my name for now. An aborigine Name would have been easier and Sanyyasins it is a little like his incognito ;-) so often and with each new encounter I was expecting the helpless eyes met, I embarrassed silence on my part and I have always developed new strategies ... Names are repeated, speaking veeeery slowly and clearly (and I found it pretty stupid), smile!!

order to agree but I was then Meria, Milia (very often!), Miriam (too often), Myria, Miria, Mia (as often) and called my new employer here in Germany I've just documents for Maria Wuttke , have also not bad ;-)

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looking for! Tired

Still on the room search.
Tomorrow I can still see four more apartments.
Until Friday I have left and I'm tired.
now I know myself pretty well in Cologne, so many rooms I have to hit every corner of the city and watched. And learned to live in some very 'interesting' people and species. My plan this week to get even to Oldenburg and to use the last free days, bring a few personal details to Cologne, and finally after three months to live no longer in my backpack, to something like 'my own atmosphere' create, is accordingly invalid, and also questionable how I move because at the Sun, if it should happen ... without a car. But now, if not for the other Corner of Cologne is the stuff I'll be as far on a few bike cargoes through the city. After all, I have risen here in recent weeks, more stairs than in the past ten years together (one lives but not below the 4th floor is if higher?) ...
I've bought a laptop on ebay (no Apple but had as yet his Medion) and present it to the other corner of Cologne picked up, I think now is too large, but well, I thought 15 inches would be smaller for it ;-) it has a television .... YAY that I need it ;-)
least I should get so my access to the Internet ... so many little things that are so exhausting, when you just have to work out all pending and they all at the same time ... someone like me to explain to the computer (well, I know quite a lot but still not all)?
sheer loneliness and review last week then I am registered with a dating site (I had really ever happy ;-)... and endured habs exactly 24 hours to my profile I've deleted. THANK YOU! But then I need not! Even more stressful and unpleasant offers? Then create it rather be alone! After all, I'm good about myself laugh ;-)
I'm glad next week to again have more structure and at least three days (Mon, Tue, Thu) to work in kindergarten. This gives Although hardly any money but support and time with the kids and development in relation to this ... Yesterday, I shadowed again and working with the youngest (0-2) I was very touched by what I now had not really expected.
In contrast, today I accompanied my old lady into the hospice so she could look around there once again very touching and yet so different. Beginning and end ...
I know that I do not want to stay here long. The nights are dark by the City of Light never the air incredibly bad and dirty. And yet I'm right here, still have to carry something, to learn to do ...
ah ... I love it ... me the CD I ordered from What about me ... such good music, such a good message!
Last night I got me again with my body Ling drug poisoning (cocoa) and an appropriately completed body (no sleep, palpitations, nausea and cramps, but tastes good and is doing so well once ...).. ok ... I have to watch out even better, do not have enough reserves to deal also with my own stupidity can be avoided if it can be ;-)
On the morning that I think my apartment!
And peace, strength and balance!
take over again distance, breathing, space ...

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holiday in Lutzmannsburg

Last week I was allowed to go with Dad and Mom for three days in the sun Lutzmannsburg to Sunny Bunny.

is in the Burgenland, and there you have everything prepared for our little ones.
My friends and Luke with Aunt Lena Christa and Jürgen uncle were also present of course :-)

you you can not even imagine how great it is there! There are so many different pools with water slides and bubble baths, I was really excited. On the water slide in the children's pool I was able to slide all by myself, although I have not necessarily set the speed record (the word "fast" had not existed in my vocabulary!).

But Lena has with Uncle Jürgen won the competition water slide and a smooth Medal of Sunny Bunny obtained. Was it exciting at the award ceremony, I'll tell you!

I have been through then of course the Sunny Bunny dance on stage. :-)

And the way home then we have yet visited the fairy tale park in St. Margaret, but I'll tell you another time ...

Which Leg For Sgiun Dubh

Just a little tired.
I had the good fortune to visit in the last days of David and it can Münster has done me so well. Just to be able to be back. We share so many years of history, that nothing more needs to be said or done, it's just relaxed and totally natural. Experienced so much in common, shared so much. A little, as if we had seen yesterday was the last time and not several years ago. A short while resting, the asthma was gone immediately, as soon as I was with him and in Münster. just like that, although the night before, hardly able to sleep without medication Kate Mente. Here I realized how tired I am tired of all this as a new light, people, places, challenges, find my way, always get up and go just because no one is really there, no Relationship here had time to grow, not well-known to the rest. Wiedr always get up and on and yet I wonder why. Training, hospice work, job, dancing ... is it really important? It is just damned exhausting. And this is worth it at all? What?

people who know each other a long time and I'm new. Grown structures, which are also defended jealous of everything new. Nature around me that is not, dirty air, which takes me to air. be quite different than in Australia or New Zealand, where new integrated much more collected, welcome welcomed, invited ... Cologne is perhaps simply too big to be to human health, perhaps transiently, perhaps many here have faith in humanity lost IHRN already long or it just looks different.
on the search criteria. I had thought to have found a flat, but now get a rejection, I still have a paat days to find something. Why? What do I really know why I'm here really?
I miss the ocean here, the warmth, natural, progressive ideas, the lifestyle ... Warmth
I know, this too, will pass and still, I'm tired.
I want to dream again, a perspective ...

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Cologne

Next in Cologne and each week a little more arrived. Especially in recent days it has become quiet, I get air and have some degree of asthma under control. In the search for a home / room, I could like to see some more or less beautiful homes and still have to swallow if the prices of salted city of Cologne. I remain confident and continue to just let me in, even if I sometimes visit a lot of fear and uncertainty ... what am I doing here, what am I doing here ... Thankfully ... ihc am for the crossover of Germany, it is much smoother for me than in Australia and it also has its own quality ine being able to express themselves in their mother tongue, which I'm more and more good. Well as continue the people around me, help me always to be authentic with what really is going on in me and show me eien deep vividness filled me, not always easy. but I'll do my best to be clear again and again with what moves me, even if it is not pleasant to keep watching out suppose. Dance and body work to do their part and my bike makes me subject to Cologne ;-) Today I am a week in the hospice in a care, I visit a wonderful old lady now (91 !!!). But after the visit I had the feeling that something is more complete in my life. On the other side of the marathon of life I have been working very probably from the 15th August, three days a week in Overath in a nursery (and I!) As an English teacher. It is my Cover basic costs, by the way I want to build my own work again and on and ... educate me .... ;-) As always working with the kids is a Heruasforderung and some will need training, but even if I earn at aldi more dignity and not an hour'd check-in, it still feels right.
I lack a little of the close human contact, touch and go together, and yet, it remains for me to trust. It is there at the moment to solve as much and that's enough to watch ... soon ;-)

How Long Shower After Waxing

breath

Just trying to breathe. Today
not so successful. Had to cancel everything and stay home, my lungs did not. It is not always easy deal with it. After all, I am always so clear, where does it come from the emotional charge takes me time and again the air (actually has!), Which must be expressed and wants. I'll do my best to handle it well, not to take too much chemistry and I am grateful that the opportunity exists. And sometimes ... It is really very alone with it and I wish ... Support. Make me soft, makes me a little weaker
;-) But ... a lot has happened in recent days. apply a Hab tomorrow Hospitationstag in English kindergarten me a lot and everywhere, enjoy the friendship of
Steffi (we know from Gondwana), Bastian is Tuesday flew to NZ and I would have given anything to fly with. Emotional
very busy and I was and am grateful that I had the time to be calm. I am really looking forward to Saturday and another day in my training. Wanted to go dance now and I have to cancel it. A clear sign, if I can breathe outside the country and my body has problems here ... I will do everything to make it easier and possible to make me not even a summer to be here and to clarify and resolve everything I can. It's good to be so clear with my samples.
HAb a bike, I told you that? Very very good, black, called bounty. and go swimming in the Rhine, very very nice!
is OK, get up early tomorrow, ab ins bett...

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Dreamin 'My mother

Just dreaming.
Dreaming of sitting on the ocean shores again, watching the surf for hours, feeling the fury of the breaking waves again. Breathing the salty fresh air again.
Dreaming of breathing, free breath, again. It is exhausting, my lungs not working the way they should.
Dreaming. Of someone to share my life with. To be safe with someone, not having to be strong the whole time. Time to be quiet, warm and loved, time to relax and breath free, love free, time for tenderness and joy. Time to be softer, to be supported and not having to do it all on my own. Tired, tired to do it all by myself, longing for touch and healing skin to skin... sharing a dream, surrendering into warm and open arms, sharing, creating a space of love and laughter.
Just wanting to stop, just wanting to end the old patterns... so much!
I can do it all myself. I can survive everywhere on my own, i just dont want to anymore ;-)
Still searching for a good space to live and a job...still trusting.
Loving the music, celebrating the dance.

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Reaching out
Reaching out
Reaching out
Ah, my mother ocean
My mother ocean,
I miss you my beloved.
Your gentle touch, your all- acceptance.
Your wild waves
washing my body, my mind, my skin, my soul
reconnecting everything.
Ah mother ocean,
i miss you beloved, i miss you.
Reaching out to touch you again,
to feel your breeze, to taste your salty kiss again.
Ah mother ocean,
I am longing to surrender into your loving embrace,
I miss you beloved,
I miss you sister.
How do i long to listen again
to your wild wispers,
your roaring voice,
your seducing song.
I miss your depth,
your wisdom,
your endless acceptance.
Ahhh mother ocean,
I miss your healing,
I miss you, miss you, miss you beloved
my beloved
Longign to surrender again
to your eternal power.
Longing to feel the bliss again
when i melt into your open arms, forgetting myself in your love.
Ahhh mother ocean
how long do i have to be without you?
how long do i have to wait
before i can drink your salty blood again?
before I can get drunk from your wild waves again?
before I can dive and loose myself in your depth again?
Mother ocean,
I am far, so far from your shores
please, until we meet again, bless me mother, bless me, bless me.

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Impressions

Games Like Moubt Blade

I have discovered my competitive side! Bella Italia

I was until recently more of a couch potatoes , Honest!
'd rather I be chauffeured by Mom in the buggy to go and even sports made me more interested only on television. But since I

go to kindergarten, I'm much braver and more curious now (thanks to all who have supported me and encouraged). Since then I have to try everything at least once!

now in summer you can take out quite a lot. If the weather permits (ähem. ..), I like to go swimming with Papa and Mama, we have namely a small pool situated in our garden where I feel a fiddle!



unless I slide passionate. Thanks Dad for the great slide at the play set!




When I last week at my girlfriend Lena and her brother Luke was visiting, I found her trampoline!

After I was a bit skeptical at first yes ( I am innately first time always against my mom says :-) ) I wanted to go out later, thanks to strong support from Lena, not even Aunt Christa and my mom.



I can in it that is just fine my sense of balance train, run around and have even practiced some somersaults.

After the weather was not as good on the last Sunday then yes, I have my workouts just on our Cross Trainer moved :-)

How Feelings Develop In Men

After I'm back from vacation in Italy, I must tell you, of course, what I have experienced so everything.


We stayed for 5 days in Caorle, in a hotel called Villaggio Hemingway. Since it was
a wonderful swimming pool with Jacuzzi, where I could make my own first attempts at swimming (well, with a life jacket and on the back of Papa and Mama, I'll's yes to !!!).



And of course there was also a great beach with sooo much sand and shells, we have collected so I can watch at home too.






And with my Italian skills I have left powerful impression with the girls. My conquest Giulia you can see here :-) I have the same magic with a "Ciao Bella".



The days passed quickly and I'm really looking forward to next year when we might go back to Italy?