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Cologne

Next in Cologne and each week a little more arrived. Especially in recent days it has become quiet, I get air and have some degree of asthma under control. In the search for a home / room, I could like to see some more or less beautiful homes and still have to swallow if the prices of salted city of Cologne. I remain confident and continue to just let me in, even if I sometimes visit a lot of fear and uncertainty ... what am I doing here, what am I doing here ... Thankfully ... ihc am for the crossover of Germany, it is much smoother for me than in Australia and it also has its own quality ine being able to express themselves in their mother tongue, which I'm more and more good. Well as continue the people around me, help me always to be authentic with what really is going on in me and show me eien deep vividness filled me, not always easy. but I'll do my best to be clear again and again with what moves me, even if it is not pleasant to keep watching out suppose. Dance and body work to do their part and my bike makes me subject to Cologne ;-) Today I am a week in the hospice in a care, I visit a wonderful old lady now (91 !!!). But after the visit I had the feeling that something is more complete in my life. On the other side of the marathon of life I have been working very probably from the 15th August, three days a week in Overath in a nursery (and I!) As an English teacher. It is my Cover basic costs, by the way I want to build my own work again and on and ... educate me .... ;-) As always working with the kids is a Heruasforderung and some will need training, but even if I earn at aldi more dignity and not an hour'd check-in, it still feels right.
I lack a little of the close human contact, touch and go together, and yet, it remains for me to trust. It is there at the moment to solve as much and that's enough to watch ... soon ;-)

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breath

Just trying to breathe. Today
not so successful. Had to cancel everything and stay home, my lungs did not. It is not always easy deal with it. After all, I am always so clear, where does it come from the emotional charge takes me time and again the air (actually has!), Which must be expressed and wants. I'll do my best to handle it well, not to take too much chemistry and I am grateful that the opportunity exists. And sometimes ... It is really very alone with it and I wish ... Support. Make me soft, makes me a little weaker
;-) But ... a lot has happened in recent days. apply a Hab tomorrow Hospitationstag in English kindergarten me a lot and everywhere, enjoy the friendship of
Steffi (we know from Gondwana), Bastian is Tuesday flew to NZ and I would have given anything to fly with. Emotional
very busy and I was and am grateful that I had the time to be calm. I am really looking forward to Saturday and another day in my training. Wanted to go dance now and I have to cancel it. A clear sign, if I can breathe outside the country and my body has problems here ... I will do everything to make it easier and possible to make me not even a summer to be here and to clarify and resolve everything I can. It's good to be so clear with my samples.
HAb a bike, I told you that? Very very good, black, called bounty. and go swimming in the Rhine, very very nice!
is OK, get up early tomorrow, ab ins bett...

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Dreamin 'My mother

Just dreaming.
Dreaming of sitting on the ocean shores again, watching the surf for hours, feeling the fury of the breaking waves again. Breathing the salty fresh air again.
Dreaming of breathing, free breath, again. It is exhausting, my lungs not working the way they should.
Dreaming. Of someone to share my life with. To be safe with someone, not having to be strong the whole time. Time to be quiet, warm and loved, time to relax and breath free, love free, time for tenderness and joy. Time to be softer, to be supported and not having to do it all on my own. Tired, tired to do it all by myself, longing for touch and healing skin to skin... sharing a dream, surrendering into warm and open arms, sharing, creating a space of love and laughter.
Just wanting to stop, just wanting to end the old patterns... so much!
I can do it all myself. I can survive everywhere on my own, i just dont want to anymore ;-)
Still searching for a good space to live and a job...still trusting.
Loving the music, celebrating the dance.

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Reaching out
Reaching out
Reaching out
Ah, my mother ocean
My mother ocean,
I miss you my beloved.
Your gentle touch, your all- acceptance.
Your wild waves
washing my body, my mind, my skin, my soul
reconnecting everything.
Ah mother ocean,
i miss you beloved, i miss you.
Reaching out to touch you again,
to feel your breeze, to taste your salty kiss again.
Ah mother ocean,
I am longing to surrender into your loving embrace,
I miss you beloved,
I miss you sister.
How do i long to listen again
to your wild wispers,
your roaring voice,
your seducing song.
I miss your depth,
your wisdom,
your endless acceptance.
Ahhh mother ocean,
I miss your healing,
I miss you, miss you, miss you beloved
my beloved
Longign to surrender again
to your eternal power.
Longing to feel the bliss again
when i melt into your open arms, forgetting myself in your love.
Ahhh mother ocean
how long do i have to be without you?
how long do i have to wait
before i can drink your salty blood again?
before I can get drunk from your wild waves again?
before I can dive and loose myself in your depth again?
Mother ocean,
I am far, so far from your shores
please, until we meet again, bless me mother, bless me, bless me.

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Impressions